How Do I Navigate Loneliness?

Normalizing Conversations on Loneliness

We've all encountered loneliness at some point in our lives, whether it's following a tough breakup or during those initial weeks of freshman year at a new school. We're often advised to brace ourselves for it, to remind ourselves that there are people who care about us. Yet, there's nothing quite like the sensation of feeling completely and utterly alone. How do we grapple with this emotion? Is it acceptable to even feel this way?

However, there exists another form of loneliness, one that runs even deeper. The first type of loneliness arises when communication is minimal—a gap between you and the world around you. But there's a second type of loneliness, one that cuts to the core. It's the kind where, even when surrounded by a bustling crowd, you wear a fake smile on your face, engage in shallow conversations, and yet, no one truly wants to know the real you. Your heart longs to be understood, to believe that others genuinely care about you, but it seems that even your best efforts to connect fall short. You may laugh outwardly, but within, a dark, profound loneliness encroaches upon your heart, threatening to steal your joy.

We're often told that time heals all wounds, that with the passage of days and weeks, loneliness will dissipate. But what about those times when it doesn't? When the ache persists and the solitude lingers, what then?"

We Were Created for Intimacy

We were not designed for solitude or to experience loneliness. In the book of Genesis, we delve into the early years of Earth. God carefully crafted a perfect place for the first human, Adam. The spirit of God was a constant presence in Adam's life, nurturing an intimate relationship akin to that between a father and his son. However, God saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone, prompting Him to create Eve. Right from the beginning, God underscores our need for both a spiritual community with the Lord and meaningful connections with fellow individuals. Yet, the introduction of sin would soon disrupt this way of life. An apple, rotten to the core.

With the entry of sin, everything underwent a profound transformation. A chasm emerged between God and His people, all due to the presence of sin in the world. Humanity turned against itself, leading to murder, wars, abuse, lies, and the disruption of the once-perfect world.

Nevertheless, God had a plan to redeem the world from its sin through His son, Jesus. This plan opened the door for each of us to accept the free gift of salvation, restoring the spiritual intimacy reminiscent of the connection between Adam and Eve in the garden. However, despite this redemption, we remain inherently sinful, and forging deep relationships with one another is no simple task. Yet, our hearts still yearn for the same kind of intimacy with those around us."

God is Present in Your Life, Do You Feel It?

In Romans 8, we find a powerful reminder: 'No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.' The depth of God's love for us is boundless, and He is always there for us. So, why do we often seek to fill our lives with people when only His spirit can truly satisfy our deepest desires?

Are you investing time in spiritual intimacy with God?

Are you engaging with the Bible?

Are you spending time in prayer?

How do you expect to know God better, if you don't spend time with Him?

Yet, as humans, it's only natural to experience moments of loneliness, even as our relationship with God grows. We all yearn to feel loved and cared for by those around us. In today's digital age, apps like Snapchat and Instagram have redefined relationships, often built on a superficial foundation. We tend to show only a 'photoshopped' version of our souls, asking about surface-level details like majors and hometowns, while neglecting to dive into our joys and fears. We request someone's social media handle before ever discovering their hopes and dreams. Outwardly, we may seem content with mere appearances of welcome and acceptance, but deep down, we all hunger for true relational intimacy.

So, What Can We Do to Address Loneliness?

- Ask deeper questions.

- Share deeper answers.

- Make genuine eye contact.

- Put away your phone during dinner.

- Silence your phone.

- Consider a social media detox.

- Live in the moment.

- Take the time to know the person sitting next to you in class.

- Go for a walk without your earbuds in.

- Text someone how you appreciate them

- Compliment someone's clothing

Honesty with Yourself

To begin the journey toward healing, start by being truly honest with yourself. Explore your feelings, thoughts, and emotions without reservation. Consider keeping a journal, seeking guidance from a counselor, and processing your emotions instead of bottling them up.

Honesty with God

Turn to God in prayer with complete sincerity. Share any feelings of distance or longing you may have with Him. Remember that He is always ready to listen and guide you. Confide in Him about your concerns regarding the depth of your relationships and ask Him to reveal insights you may not have considered. The Lord has the power to fill you up and sustain you in remarkable ways.

Honesty with Community

Lastly, extend your honesty to your trusted community. Despite the challenges, open up to people you respect and trust. Share where you are in life, even if it feels uncomfortable. Loneliness can sometimes be self-induced and hidden from the outside world. By confessing your feelings and experiences to your community, you create an opportunity for understanding and healing."

Loneliness may not disappear overnight, but we know that, by placing your faith and trust in Jesus, a day will come when in heaven, loneliness will be a distant memory. In heaven, happiness and joy will be ever-present, and you will experience a profound and enduring love from those around you.

How can we bring that heavenly love to our communities, today?