How Do We Respond to Gay Marriage?
I didn’t initially plan to write this post. My original intention was to discuss our response to receiving an invitation to a gay wedding. This idea was sparked by a post from the Freedom Center at Liberty University. In their typical man-on-the-street interviews, students were asked, "Should Christians attend a gay wedding?" Although I want to believe many students offered thoughtful, loving, and practical answers, these responses weren't shown in the video. Instead, we find people using biblical truths to tell the camera that “if you can attend a gay wedding and be perfectly okay with yourself, there is something wrong.” That response fueled my passion because comments like those disunify Christians. We are called to be holy, kind, humble, meek, patient, bearing with one another, and forgiving. But above all these, we are to be loving, which binds everything together and allows us to live in harmony (cf. Colossians 3:12-14).
To respond to this question with wisdom, we must return to the Bible for context and truth. To discuss how we should respond to an invitation to a gay wedding, we need to examine the concept of gay marriage.
What does marriage signify in the Bible? What was God's design for marriage? Is marriage the only option for fulfilling our relational needs? This post aims to build a strong theological foundation rooted in scripture to properly frame our understanding and response to attending a gay wedding. Let's dive in.
What Was God’s Design for Marriage?
Adam was alone in the garden, naming animals, cultivating the land, and basking in the presence of God. However, God decided that “it is not good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18). To create Eve, a suitable and complementary partner for Adam, God took a rib from Adam. From his flesh and bone, a woman was formed by God. Genesis 2:24 explains what this means for humanity: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This relationship, called marriage, is a reuniting of bodies and souls that complement one another through an unending covenant designed to bring glory to God. A groom and his bride enter apart but leave as one.
At the time of Jesus, the men of Israel had a very liberal view of marriage, divorcing their wives at the slightest discontentment with their behavior. Jesus restates the biblical truth of God’s design in Mark 10:6-8, highlighting that marriage is not something to be done lightly, for during the marriage covenant, two are made one. To divorce is not to separate two people, but to rip a single entity, body and soul, into two broken people.
Through a marriage, a sexual union is formed, designed in part to bring children into the world who are to be raised under the discipline and instruction of the Lord (cf. Ephesians 6:4). Through unique roles designated to both the man and the woman, the family can thrive, going forth and making God’s name known throughout the world.
What Does Marriage Signify?
God’s design for marriage was not just “so people who love each other can have sex and cohabitate”; it was to be a picture of His own union with the people He calls His own—every one of us. Through marriage, God explains His commitment and love for His people. However, beginning with Adam and Eve and continuing through the rest of humanity, we all rebelled and were overcome with sin. Throughout the Old Testament, we see a story of God beckoning an unfaithful people to Himself—a people who repeatedly turned away from Him. Despite this rebellion, the Lord’s plan to ultimately reunite man with Himself remained unwavering, culminating in the New Testament with the pronouncement of the birth of the Messiah. Through His death, burial, and resurrection, Jesus Christ lovingly and sacrificially chose the Church to be His bride (cf. Ephesians 5:25-27). As Christians, members of God’s Church, we anticipate being reunited with Christ in an official “wedding ceremony” that will confirm our eternal union with Him.
What If I Am Single?
The beautiful thing about this—and perhaps it’s a blessing since I remain a single man—is that you don’t need to be married to be Christ’s bride. Marriage represents God’s relationship with His people, but it is not the only way to have a relationship with Him—that is achieved through repentance and confessing that Jesus is the Lord over your life.
It has often been said to me that “your singleness is a gift,” almost as if to console me with the thought that “it will eventually get better.” Interestingly, this advice often comes from older married couples, those dating, or people trying to convince me to “live my truth” and give into sinful sexual desires.
However, when Paul writes that singleness is a gift, he concludes by stating that he is saying this for our own benefit, not simply placing restrictions on us (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:29-40). He wanted us to do whatever will help us serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.
As a single man, I can serve the Lord without the added responsibilities of serving a wife. If God calls me to the mission field, I can go. If I need to travel, I can. If I feel led to evangelize on my way home from work, there is no second thought in my mind. To be single is to be free—free to spend all my time doing the Lord’s work and focusing on how to please Him. Singleness allows us to orient our gaze on Christ and our future union with Him as His bride, rather than being preoccupied with the temporary things of this world.
What about Gay Marriage?
God’s design for marriage, as illustrated in the Bible, is rooted in the creation of man and woman. It is meant to be a sacred bond where a man and woman become one flesh, complementing each other in a unique and divine way. Marriage, in this biblical context, is not just a social or legal contract, but a profound spiritual union that mirrors Christ’s relationship with the Church.
Although gay marriage is legal in the United States and other countries around the world, it cannot and will never align with this biblical framework. It does not represent the complementary nature of man and woman as intended by God nor the union of two designed to embody each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually with the harmony that God envisioned. Same-sex marriages deviate from God’s design, much like sin is a deviation from man’s perfect state. Same-sex marriage, therefore, represents a form of rebellion against God’s ordained structure for human relationships.
How Should We View Same-Sex Relationships?
In Christian apologetics, we work to find the good, true, and beautiful in everything since God creates things as such. Same-sex relationships can possess elements of goodness and beauty. They can often exhibit deep caring, commitment, and mutual support. Partners in these relationships may show profound love and dedication to one another, reflecting virtues such as kindness, fidelity, and sacrificial love.
However, while same-sex relationships can embody these good and beautiful elements, they can’t align with the biblical. Even with good and beautiful elements, same-sex marriage and relationships will always be against God’s design. Same-sex attraction (SSA) is not from God since he is the author of peace, not confusion (cf. 1 Corinthians 14:33). Therefore, advocating for gay marriage within the church is to align with the voice of the devil, echoing the question, "Did God really say that?"
How Should We Respond to Gay Marriage?
We need to be both loving and truthful. Although I shared my frustration in the beginning how Liberty, the largest Christian school in the world, can still deliver truth with hate, creating unnecessary divison within the church and condemneing those with SSA, I believe that in time, we will all grow in how we respond.
Given all of the biblical truth written in this post, we have now created the foundation in which we can answer how we respond to an invitation to a gay wedding. Until then, be the hands and feet of Jesus.
How Do We Respond?
We Respond With Compassion
Do you have any questions about the Christian faith or sexuality?
Do you have your own testimony to share?
If you found this post helpful and would like to support the creation of more resources like this, I invite you to contribute. Your generosity helps me continue to provide practical guidance and encouragement for those navigating challenging life situations. Every contribution, no matter the size, makes a difference. Together, we can foster a community of love, support, and growth. Click here to learn more about how you can get involved.
Comments